See you guys in a while.

I’ll stop being lazy in a little while.

DONT YOU WORRY (he said to his practically nonexistant readers)

HOW SIMPLY AMAZINGLY FUN :D

A small overview of what’s going on:

Weapon upgrades: The pyro’s flamethrower, when the alternate fire button is pressed, now shoots compressed air! A new and strategic tool, it can be used for various things: killing enemy Soldiers with their own rockets, pushing Medics away from their targets, defending points…possibilities are almost limitless. Now you don’t have to scramble towards the point while a scout is capturing it, wondering in vain if you’re going to get there in time; push him off with a satisfying blast of compressed air! Impress your friends at parties! Get ladies! Whatever!

In addition to this upgrade to the flamethrower, there are also new unlockables.

FLARE GUN:
A replacement of the shotgun, this unlockable is basically a long-range flamethrower, capable of setting enemies on fire from any range. The only problem is that it takes a bit of practice and some good aiming to actually hit anyone not standing still; however, engineers and snipers are now much easier to kill, both being somewhat stationary. It could also be a good Heavy-igniter; why waste your time running up to him and getting yourself drilled by ten thousand bullets when you could sit back at the point and light him up like a cheap barbecue on the fourth of July?

THE BACKBURNER:
An upgrade to the flamethrower, this unlockable takes away compressed air but with a fun new feature: if you ignite an enemy from the back, it’s 100% critical hit. Not only that, but the Pyro is granted 50 extra health.

THE AXTINGUISHER:
With a totally revamped and awesome look, your fire-axe has a new and awesome ability: 100% critical hit if your enemy is on fire. Surely this will usher in a new age of ignite-and-hack strategy.

There are 35 new Pyro achievements, all of which you can read here.

The two new levels are Fastlane, and Turbine.

Fastlane

Turbine

AND THE MEET THE SNIPER VIDEO!!1123923095ggxwejkls

MEEEEEEET THE SNIPER [cleeck]

that’s all

go back to playing tf2 plx

You start off as a man in a plane named Jack (from what we can see, he holds up a present with his name on it). However, something goes horribly wrong, and your plane crashes into the ocean. Breaking up into the surface of the water with a gasp, you look around you to see wreckage and flames, and head toward a large building jutting up out of the water. Walking up a ramp, you go in to see a large, golden statue of a man with a banner that simply says:

“No gods or kings.

Only man.”

Welcome to Rapture.

I’ll give some reasons as to why it’s one of my favorite games, though.

1. The Dialogue/Characters/Storyline
In fact, this is probably my number one favorite in terms of storyline and characters. Every single character is very interesting and original; Dr. Steinman, the insane surgeon obsessed with beauty. Atlas, your Scottish helper. Even Andrew Ryan and Fontaine, the two mysterious head-honchos of the whole city. Going on to dialogue, throughout gathering the different tapes and listening to the radio, whether it be Atlas or Peach Wilkins or some other strange and fun character telling you what to do, every line of dialogue is simply fantastic.

“Adam is the canvas of genetic modification, but plasmids are the paint.”

2. The Graphics
Graphically, this is an amazing game. Just from taking a small submarine-type vessel (Bathysphere, they call it) into the underwater city, you can see how much time the developers put into making this game simply eye-candy. Large neon signs advertising strange commodities are everywhere, and textures are very nice, as well.

3. The Gameplay
The gameplay and controls is actually really easy to pick up, despite what one might think (though Halo players may be a bit confused when they first play). Gameplay is very scary, and I will admit that I have actually yelled at certain parts, with splicers appearing in a haze right behind me to be screaming the strangest things. When you play it you’ll never again underestimate the shock value of yelling extremely mundane things at people while running at them with a wrench in your hand.

Among this games top things that I love are the Big Daddies, the huge guardians of the little sisters. The basic gist of these two things are this: within the little sisters reside little slug-like things that, if harvested, give you lots of Adam, which you can buy genetic modifications. However, a German-sounding woman named Dr. Tenenbaum has promised rewards if you save them. What shall you do? It doesn’t quite matter which you choose, though, because either way you still have to get through a Big Daddy, the meanest enemy in the game (especially on Hard). There are two types of Big Daddies; Rosies, who look strikingly like divers, and who are loaded with proximity mines and a mean rail-gun, and then (possibly my favorite enemy ever) the Bouncers, who have gigantic drills attacked to their hands.

I could go on and on about it, but I’ll just say this:

I LOVE IT

Click to watch. (A little long, 35 min+)

Okay. Spore. What is it, you may ask?
Well, it’s an emerging new game for the PC, brought to you all by the creator of Simcity and The Sims. Just from watching the very start of the video I could tell this was gonna be good.

The basic story of the game is this: from what I can see and from what I’ve been told, it’s a basic Sims game, though based on evolution. You start off at the cellular level, creating your cell with the various creature editors, from regular creatures to your cells and, eventually, your entire civilization (buildings and such) and, in the latest stages of the game, your UFO.

So, starting in your cellular level, you play for a while as your cell, taking new adaptations to help your cell survive. Eventually, your creature emerges into a multicellular organism in the water, and actually, in a somewhat-Darwinian fashion (though Darwin would probably want to start examining his medicine’s expiration dates) emerges onto land. Now, there’s really no limitation to what your creatures can look like, except for maybe running out of parts. The creature editor really is quite extensive, with many different choices for mouths, legs, hands, feet, and any combination far and few between. The best thing is that it’s incredibly simplistic and easy to use; just ask Robin Williams.

The computer analyzes the skeletal structure of your creature when you are finally finished being creative, and publishes how it breathes, moves, jumps, attacks…based on what adaptations are put into your creature, it is basically created and shown to you. For instance, the creator of the game, in his 35 minute demonstration, makes a sort of tripod creature with a scorpion-like tail, the spike-like attachment at the end of it being it’s weapon. As it emerges onto land, you can see that it walks with a sort of rolling gait, and the tail bobs up and down. It then attacks a small land mammal, using the tail as a weapon. The computer knows this and analyzes this, and brings into life your brainchild, your strange creatures of the endless space of the brain.

And you know the best part? It’s online, if you so choose to be. That means that your creatures can interact with other players’ creatures, and whether this reaction is peaceful or aggressive is completely the player’s choice. For instance, when your creature is created, you eventually move onto the tribe stage (where a small group of your creatures form a tribe-like group), and then on to the civilization stage, where your creatures are all in a town-ish formation. You can then purchase things like tanks or even create your own vehicles using the same simplistic editor used to make your animal. You can either use these for defense or attack; the choice is yours. Create allies or enemies. It’s in your hands.

So, what, you may ask, are your thoughts? My first thought was pure, unharnessed excitement. This is the kind of game I’ve always been hoping for – made by a brilliant person with brilliant ideas, and best of all you get to create your own creatures. I just can’t wait for this to come out, and I will be waiting with open arms and an open wallet for it. I don’t know why you WOULDN’T want to play this. I am excited, kids.

I’m excited.

The world is in your hands; you choose what goes and what doesn’t. In essence, you are nature, selecting those creatures that survive and those which perish and eventually die out.

AWESOME

1. Engineers
Seriously, guys. You have the ability to make an awesome, solitary turret that rains death and destruction on anything it sees. Why, then, do I see people, on Dustbowl, for example, setting up dispensers right away and WHACKING AWAY AT THEM and waiting for them to completely charge when there’s a couple of demomen or pyros or heavies with these insane smiles coming towards you? You’re free points! It’s like shooting fish in a barrel! RETARDED, BLIND, FIN-LESS FISH.

2. Spies
Okay. First, addressing enemy spies: do you think it’s funny to uncloak in front of a pyro? Especially when you’re disguised? It’s an insult to their intelligence, and I don’t honestly think they’re going to like you very much after, and I’m positive that you’ll hate them even more. Secondly, there’s a reason no one disguises as medics: IT DOESN’T WORK. What do medics do? Heal people. What can you NOT do when you are a disguised medic? “No, guys, I’m real! I just have my syringe gun out just in case, you know, someone comes up the stai-ACK FIRE HELFEN HELFEN”.

Secondly, addressing friendly spies: guys, guys. What are you doing as a spy if you aren’t disguised? The main reason there’s EVEN a spy class is so you can have people get into enemy lines. Running out in front of a sentry uncloaked or undisguised won’t help you, and the engineer will probably be taunting on top of your idiot corpse when you get pumped full of lead. Do yourself a favor and use that awesome disguise kit that the spy was made to have, mmkay? Not only that, but don’t get gung ho; backstabbing an engineer in front of his un-sapped sentry is only going to give him the greater satisfaction of watching your stupid face get blown to smithereens.

3. Gung-Ho Scouts
As Galactic Emporium’s article so appropriately states, “…scouts have been known to drop dead at the sight of turrets.” I really hate people who do this. Don’t you think the opposite team would be smart enough to get a sentry up? Naw, let’s just rush in and capture it! I swear, guys! Let’s gooOOOHHSHI- *You were killed by the sentry of: STOPBEINGASCOUTFAGGOT”

4. Pyro
Your flamethrower goes five feet.

Quit being an idiot. You can’t shoot people from fifty feet away, and all you’re going to be doing is eating a bowl of rocket soup.

5. Heavy
There are teleporters for a reason. You, moving with the incredible speed of a retarded, triple-amputee turtle, are too much of an idiot to realize that, hey, spies and pretty much every other class moves faster than you do!

Keep moving.
Your skull is about the size of a swimming pool.

Snipers love that.

6. Soldiers
There’s one reason and one reason alone I despise this class, and it’s mostly because that I always get hit by critical hits by them. So yes, your rocket launcher is very good. But what do I see? People actually running into the war zone with their shovel, not because they’re out of ammo for both other weapons, but because they think that, “if I can knock someone out with a shovel in real life, I can knock this guy out!”

Guess what.

You also can catch on fire in real life.
You also can get shot in the face in real life.
You also can get blown into tiny bits.
You can’t get shot by a sentry but damn, you can in this game.

7. Medic
There’s a reason why you have a medigun. You weren’t made to be an offensive powerhouse or a defensive hero; you were made to provide support and to heal teammates. Not necessarily saying that medics are bad, because I’ve been killed quite a few times with that blasted medic saw, but your main purpose is to be a healer. You’re in the support category for a reason.

8. Snipers
I see three things a lot that really make me boil:

- Wasting your shot on a scout. You aren’t going to hit him unless he’s running in a STRAIGHT LINE (and even then it’s iffy) or if he’s standing still, which he rarely is. Use it for someone who you know you can kill.

- Trying to no-scope or scope someone standing RIGHT in front of you. It isn’t going to work. This isn’t Halo, go back to your generic FPS’ and leave us cool people alone.

- Sitting on top of the 2fort sniper part when there is obviously no snipers. Go do something useful. Be a scout and get the intel, or a heavy or something to help defend. Either that, or there’s a shiny “Disconnect” button sitting there that simply has your name on it.

9. Demoman
It isn’t smart to detonate your sticky bombs when you’re standing on them. And please, if someone is right next to you (i.e. spy), take out your goddamn bottle. It’s ridiculously strong, and I doubt you’re going to hit the spy with your grenades. You’d probably end up doing more damage to yourself, and he’ll be having a fun time burying that awesome butterfly knife into your skull.

BLAAHHH
YEAH I KNOW I’M COPYING
BUT IT MAKES ME SEEM COOL

I might as well start with some of their music, I suppose. (Click the name. Sorry for abysmal quality.)
Business Time
Hiphopoppotamus vs. Rhymenocerous
The Humans Are Dead (a.k.a. Robots)
Something For The Ladies (a.k.a. Ladies of the World)
Issues (a.k.a. Think About It)

Those are just some of my favorites.

So, my thoughts:

Really, when I first listened to this (as a nice friend from a Zelda-related forum showed me, thanks Galedeep) I was astounded. How had I not heard of these guys before? Their banter and unique stage-presence makes me laugh, even after watching these videos ten to twenty different times, and so does their music. Not only are they funny, but they branch out into different genres. They aren’t just folk. Sure, they have folkier songs, but for songs such as “Hiphopoppotamus vs. Rhymenocerous”, there’s a rap-like lyrical style, and even the sorts of beats you’d probably hear in a rap song. There’s also songs like “Boom”, and I can’t even really begin to explain it is. You just have to listen to it.

Branching off from the sounds of the music, I go to the lyrics. Hilarious, hilarious, HILARIOUS. I can’t stop listening, because the way they write their lyrics makes them really infectious and memorable. For instance, in “Hiphopoppotamus vs. Rhymenocerous”, probably one of my favorite lines:

“They call me the hiphopoppotamus,
Flows that glow like phosphorous,
Poppin’ off the top of this esophagus,
Rockin’ this metropolis.”

It goes on, as well. Then you have a song like “Ladies of the World”, where there are lyrics like such:

“Redheads, not warheads;
Blondes not bombs…
We’re talkin’ about,
Brunettes not fighter jets, yeah.

Ooh, it’s got to be sweet sixteens,
Not M16s
When will the government realize;
It’s got to be funky, sexy ladies.”

And, in one of my favorite lines ever, the song says:

“If every soldier in the world
Put down his weapon and picked up a woman…

What a peaceful world this world would be.”

I really do think that these two men are geniuses of the highest degree.

And blah. That’s all I want to say.
LEAVE ME ALONE I’LL WRITE BETTER LATER

This post is just to inform you of the meaning of this blog:

Post my musical thoughts about different bands, albums coming out, etcetera.

To post my views on different video games, not only on the games themselves but the people that play them, the different features, and (maybe) reviews.

To post my thoughts on books I’ve read recently or new books coming out from a favorite author of mine or things like that.

All other entertainment-type things, including movies.

Why is it The User’s Guide to the Undead? Well..

I’m musical zombie. I’m awesome, and I do whatever the hell I want.